He Gets the Job Done
by Crazed Writing Frenzy
Summary: It seems completely outrageous that when Sam is taken down a peg, a certain someone goes up a few.


So lately I've been watching iCarly and realizing my passion for hate/love couples. I just think they're so interesting and adorable! So, with my latest addiction, I'm gonna try and write a fanfiction dedicated to Seddie. Enjoy!

He Gets the Job Done  
Summary: It seems completely outrageous that when Sam is taken down a peg, a certain someone goes up a few.

Time: Set Around after iTwins, but that doesn't really matter plot wise. Nothing is really referenced, I just want it to be as recent as possible.

Warning: Slight cussing ahead, and some material more appropriate for teens.  
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"Here Sam, see if this makes it feel better." Carly fussed in a worried tone. She shoved the wrapped slice of miniature sausages into Sam's hands, and the blonde lifted them to her large, ripe shiner.  
Sam hissed between her teeth as the cold pieces of meat met her bruised eye. "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Her spare hand fisted her jeans to help with the stinging.  
Carly held her best friend's shoulder. "What did you do?" She asked, concerned.  
Ms. Shay had previously been checking the latest views for the most recent iCarly (2,243 had gone up in the past hour) when a knock on the door distracted her. She jumped up and strolled quickly to the door. "Hello-" She stopped mid-sentence as she saw her best friend holding her eye and sporting a busted lip. "Oh my gosh, Sam!" She gasped. "Did you get in a fight with the monkeys at the zoo again!?" She scolded. Even if her voice was light, her face looked positively distressed.  
Sam had smirked and then winced as the cut on her lip reopened. Immediately, Carly rushed her in, planted her on the couch, called Spencer in to help, and got to work nursing her friend.  
Which brings us back to the present.  
Sam shook her head, causing blonde bangs to sweep her forehead. "Just a little fight. Stupid nub was a little bigger than I could handle…Got in a lucky punch or two…"  
"You lost?" Carly gasped. Her eyes showed disbelief. Losing never occurred when Sam was involved. "But-."  
"Here's the soup!" Spencer unbecomingly interrupted. He seemed proud as he placed the homemade soup on the hardwood table. The 26 year old saw Sam's face light up at the meal. "Ah! Teeny weenies always help a bruise."  
Carly reached out and used the fork to retrieve a giant chunk of…cucumber? "Ummmm, Spencer…what is this?"  
"Chicken noodle soup. Whenever you got sick, I'd always make a big heaping bowl of this stuff to help you get better."  
"Sam's not sick though. She has a black eye."  
"Yeah, but you never got one of those before." He shrugged. "Not really sure what the normal snack for a popped-blood-vessel-near-the-eye is."  
"And what is this?" A large wad of some pale, steaming unknown meat sat hanging on the silverware.  
"Oh! Well, we ran out of ingredients for chicken noodle soup, so I made pork cucumber soup…doesn't quite roll off the tongue as nicely though."  
Sam started to chug down the soup otherwise. Injured or not, she still had the iron stomach.  
Spencer voiced his concern as he went to get everyone drinks. Sam was like a second little sister to him. "How's your eye feeling?"  
"Like someone chucked a cantaloupe at it." She grunted, wolfing down the odd substance.  
"Who did you get in a fight with?" Carly's voice still held shock. She was sure Sam could hold her own against the entire football team if need be. Whoever the culprit was, the person must have either been someone over 6"5 or had been wearing a suit of armor.  
Sam paused midway through her chewing to halfheartedly shrug. "Some stupid nobody."  
'I really doubt that.' Carly thought to herself. The trouble-seeker would never openly admit losing to a 'nobody.' She would let it drop though. Sam must have been in some intense pain (in both the eye and the ego), so she would wait until later to once again go through her line of questioning.  
For the moment, she would stick to making sure Sam was as comfortable as possible and teaching Spencer which vegetables and meats do and don't go together.

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When Freddie got the text message, he spit out his Blueberry Bonanza Smoothie all over the shiny red table at the Groovy Smoothie. He didn't even recognize the disgusted or amused stares of the people around him.  
Sam's face, plus a new black eye and cut lip, stared back at him through his phone. He thought for a second she had the mumps because of her puffed out cheeks, but quickly saw Carly's text along with the picture.  
Sam lost a fight. She won't say to who. & don't worry, she just slurped up her soup. No mumps here.  
It shocked him to the core…the idea of Sam being injured by another person seemed…Undoable.  
The technology-master felt torn between cheering because some innocent little bystander had finally stood up to their tormentor (A position he knew all to well) or running over there and seeing if he could help the blonde brawler out in anyway possible. He quickly discouraged the latter. He could imagine her reaction already.  
'Get out of here Frednerd. Me needing your help is as likely as you getting a girlfriend anytime soon…On second thought, make that EVER.'  
As he began absent mindedly cleaning up his splattered smoothie, he thought about some factors of the situation as Freddie so often did.  
Sam had fought with a guy…and she had lost.  
That in itself hit him like…Sam's fist to the stomach. He realized some things then.  
Whoever it was, the guy was too much for her…And Freddie knew Sam didn't take on random gigantic people unless she knew she could win, or she had no other choice. Seeing as she obviously didn't win, it was option 2.  
So this wasn't some poor nerd who had gotten a lucky shot while Sam was giving him some new type of advanced wedgie…this guy was a big boy.  
But who's to say Sam started it all? Maybe the other guy went and started it all, or even did a surprise attack.  
It was either they were doing something Sam felt the tremendous need to stop, or he had gone out of his way to cause harm to her.  
Something in the pit of Freddie's stomach clenched tightly at the thought…He didn't like that idea at all.  
Who was it? She was unmarked until the very last minute at school. Carly was heading home as usual. He himself was heading over here to the Groovy Smoothie to try out the new smoothie flavor. Sam said she was going to make a quick pit-stop at some store to get the new Drake Bell C.D. (after 'borrowing' some money from Freddie to get it) and meet back up at Carly's later. Within the last hour, Sam had run into a person, gotten in a tussle, and lost said tussle.  
It could have been anybody…Even the deranged hobo from the wrong side of town, but Freddie highly doubted that.  
"-And so the girl starts going postal on me! I gave her one good swing, and BOOM she falls flat on her ass." He heard someone snicker from behind. A chorus of chuckles followed the story with a few comments of 'serves her right.'  
iCarly's tech-producer turned around and what he saw caused a grimace to form. Robbie Reynolds and his group of lackeys. They attended some juvenile correctional facility a ways away whose phrase was to 'help redirect needing youth back to the path of righteousness' or something like that. They weren't good news at all, no matter how much more 'righteous' they were becoming.  
Robbie sat at the head of the pack, shaking his red hair around as he told the story. "Yeah man, too bad the chick was psycho. She was freakin' hot. I mean long blonde hair, and you know I like 'em feisty." He laughed, smacking the closest guy's shoulder.  
An icy feeling pricked the back of Freddie's neck. No way. This couldn't be the same guy…There were lots of long blonde haired girls around here…  
But then again, how many of them 'go postal?' Especially on a big, muscled juvenile delinquent like Robbie.  
He had to be sure this was the culprit behind Sam's shiner before he did anything rash. Once he was positive, he'd go tell his principal, or the cops, or (Heaven help them all) his mother.  
He waltzed over to the group with an air of coolness he didn't know he could possess. No matter how much Sam called him a dork, nerd, freak-a-tron, etc. he was always appeared equal among most guys.  
It was shocking to the normal spectator, since others were to freaked or uncertain to approach Robbie's group. Yet there went Fredward Benson, acting like it was regular to hang out with them. Whispers started.  
"Mind telling all that over again?" Freddie gave a mischievous grin. "Always love stories about fighting and hot blondes." Labeling what could possibly be Sam as a 'hot blonde' felt really weird for Freddie to say.  
Had Robbie been paying attention, he might have noticed the laptop Freddie was slipping into his bag and the nerdish attire. But since he was in such a buzz with an awesome tale, he replied "Sure man."  
"So I was walking down the street, and I saw this girl. This girl man, she had on this tight purple shirt, and with the curly blonde hair, just couldn't help myself." He laughed.  
Somewhere in the back of Freddie's mind, as he continued to fake a smile at the group of druggies, he remembered the picture Carly sent him a few minutes ago.  
Sam was wearing a purple shirt today.  
"I go up to her, give her a wink and say 'hey hot stuff.' She tells me to screw off, and that just pissed me right off man. No one says that to the Rob-meister. I get a closer look and realize who she is, and then I know who her mom is. The one who got together with Jay Trenton."  
"Total player." A guy with a nose ring and long black hair tells Freddie. "Sleeps with all the ladies." He chuckles with a smile.  
"Yeah." Robbie says. "I tell her 'bout this, saying I hope she takes after her mom so we can spend the night together." He snickers along with the group who've begun all snorting and cheering him on once more.  
Freddie though, sat there silently seething. The hand hiding in his pocket had started clenching as soon as the story started, and he felt it squeeze harder until the unbreakable lice comb in his grasp snapped.  
It felt like a rope tied between the bottom of his stomach and the base of his throat had been tightening the entire time, coiling round and round till it hurt. His smile barely stayed on as his teeth were trying to grind.  
He had to hold it in. Couldn't give up the charade yet. He didn't know what he'd do if this was the guy who hurt Sam, but he'd do something. That was certain. He had to be sure though…  
"So she tackles be, starts punching and clawing my freaking arm off. I grab her, wail on her a few times and she flies right to the ground." He smiles proudly. "I tell you, if that bitch Sam Puckett comes at me again, she'll lose her front teeth-"  
The rope snapped. Blood rushed through his temples, making him see red. He swung his arm back in fury and shot straight through, punching the offender right in the face.  
Adrenaline pumped. Cartilage shattered. Blood gushed. A heart hammered. Yells erupted.  
Somewhere far off, he felt being shoved to the ground. And even as he started getting kicked and punched at by every one of Robbie's henchmen…  
He didn't regret his action in the slightest.  
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Carly and Sam sat on the couch, watching Spencer make another batch of soup in the kitchen.  
"What combo are you making this time?" Carly called.  
"Canadian bacon and radish!" He yelled joyfully. Carly blanched at the mention of turnips.  
"The man loves his Canadian bacon." The brunette smiled.  
"Well, it IS ham. More power to it!" Sam raised her fist in the air. Carly laughed in response, but stopped short when she felt her pocket vibrate.  
"Got a call, hang on a sec." She retrieved her cell, and answered with a "Hey!" Sam continued to eat the thawed miniature weenies in the plastic pouch when she heard a yelping "WHAT?!" She jumped, causing weenies to fly everywhere.  
"Are you serious?! When?!…With who?!…Why?…Alright…O.K….Thanks for telling me Katie…Bye."  
"What? What happened?" Sam had a worried edge in her voice seeing her best friend freaking out so badly.  
"Freddie…he got in a fight…" Carly said with disbelief.  
"Psssh. What? Did the dweeb get squashed between some big wrestling doofs in battle?"  
"No…he STARTED a fight…with Robbie Reynolds." She gasped.  
Sam sat erect for a second, her spine stiffening at the name. Her eyes seemed unfocused as the information processed. After a minute or two, while Carly was still weirding out over the fact Freddie of all people started a fight, Sam let out her first real smile for the past couple hours. The information all clicked for her. "You're alright and then some…Fredweird."

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Please review. I accept major criticism, which I'm sure I need. Probably a lot of OOC, right? Well, if it is, tell me whatcha think!


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